I don't know anything about Football

Sunday went well, what with Algeria making a complete @rse of thier game against Slovenia, not that I understand it.

As you know (unless you're not paying attention) England get the delights of playing Algeria this coming Friday. My only concern about that game is Algeria's tendancy towards violence when things don't go their way. The last thing England need at this stage of the tournament is some North African Numpty raking their studs down the back of Wayne Rooney's leg or one of those short arsed, short tempered, reactionary types getting carried away with shirt pulling all the way up Peter Crouch (they'll get a nose bleed at that height! - Probably from John Terry or Frank Lamp-him-hard).

The Algerians have got form for it as well. By the end of their game against Egypt last November (which they lost), they were down to eight men, with the referee dishing out red cards like they were half time oranges and the bus half full before the full time whistle was blown. They were even down to 10 men yesterday! You understand my concern here?

But then I know nothing about football, honest I don't. My biggest worries for the rest of the show would be Argentina, Brazil and Germany. Argentina won their first match (1-0 against Nigeria), and the hand of god paced up and down the sidelines the whole time. Hopefully his reckless past will come back to haunt him - although you can't deny Maradona has played some incredible football in his time. I can deny that though, because I don't know anything about it.

We have to wait to see the, once mighty Brazil, until tomorrow evening when they play North Korea. Apparently the North Korean government will only screen World Cup football matches that they win. This sort of oppression seems crazy in this day and age, but then it's been there for a long time. They still celebrate the birthday of Kim Il-Sung, who is officially the countries' "Eternal President" while his son, Kim Jong-il is secretary of the KWP Central Committee Secretariat and leader of the armed forces. Nothing odd about that - other than the fact that Kim Il-Sung died in 1994.

I'm pleased to say, zee Germans totally dismantled Australia (well what do you expect if you refer to your team as the 'socceroos' - it's football for heavens sake!!!) but equally I'm disturbed by the precision they showed in doing so. We've faced zee German machine countless times before but there have been few times that it's been a pleasent experience and plenty that it's been otherwise.

Not to worry though, as I really dont know what I'm talking about.

Today's games are Holland vs Denmark (Holland will win that) @12.30, Japan vs Cameroon (Likely to be Cameroon) @ 3pm and Italy vs Paraguay (Italy probably) @ 7.30 this evening.

Here are my predictions for the tournament in full (bearing in mind I have an England bias): BBC Wall Chart Predictor. Why don't you figure out your prediction to and then share in comments if you dare, safe in the knowledge that I know nothing about football. Honest. I really don't.

Happy Monday.


  1. What's the world coming to? I shall be writing about iPads if we are not careful!


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