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Sunday, December 03, 2017

Still not dead.. Agile.

It’s about time we all had a serious word with ourselves about just how utterly stupid Agile is. It doesn’t get things done quicker, but it does get things done with an extra level of crap. Crap because some pencil pushers somewhere think that they can save a bunch of money by not testing their products before the go to market, thus both saving cash and getting there faster. The problem is you end up releasing crap to the market and pishing off your customers... In the last week these examples just re-inforce what seem to be blindingly obvious to me.

 Another software bug with another new Google product is bad news for everyone

 Apple's head designer Jony Ive says he 'hears' your MacBook criticism

 Apple's had a shockingly bad week of software problems

 Microsoft Might Have Helped HP Install Spyware on Users’ Windows Computers

 Uber Says The Names, Email Addresses, And Mobile Phone Numbers Of 2.7 Million People In The UK Were Compromised In A Data Breach

 You don’t have to look too far to find plenty more examples of corner cutting resulting in problems. Stop giving us rubbish stuff that leaves us open to hackers or just doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. We’d all do a bit better if we stopped being “Agile” and actually did some quality work instead.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

No, I'm not dead...

...I'm still very much alive and kicking, albeit trying to kill myself with lots of hard work.  I know, I know - always decking moaning that golfyball. Miserable sod.  Well actually, I'm not moaning. A good bit of hard work can be very rewarding and I'm quite sure that in the long run it will be. So what's been going on then ? As you can see, last years blog consisted of a single entry reminding everyone to register to vote. So there was that. But it's long gone and once again we have a conservative government who are just has hopeless as any other government we might have had, and so the cycle of rubbish leadership continues. The back end of 2014 saw me travelling up and down to Liverpool working on a job at Shop Direct. That all ended up being a successful piece of work and the long hours proved worthwhile. They were a challenging lot, but they were truly only asking all the right questions and doing right by their business.  I'd like to think that we did a good job for them and the services we provide are just what they needed.  That all wrapped up just before Christmas and the break was a welcome one that enabled me to recover somewhat before getting my nose back to the grindstone. So then it was 2015 (even now it's hard for me to believe that I'm talking about a time over a year ago).  Since then, I have worked on just one - yes one single job. Now that in itself is unusual.  The turnaround time of these things is usually anything from 1 month to about 9 months (for a particularly long one). Not this time though.  This time We're coming up on 16 months and it's not done yet. In truth this piece of work is the largest thing I've ever got involved in.  It's enormous. That sounds like it's quite big and I'm sure your imagination is putting a boundary on it and estimating a size - however, whatever it is that you're imagining isn't big enough. It's bigger than that. Honestly, it's insane. And I can't believe we'll ever see the like of it again. Unfortunately that means I can't really talk about it, which is a great disappointment, but such is the way of things. I can tell you that I've spent the time travelling up and down to London and Ireland both of which are fascinating and soul destroying in equal measure. 

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Register to Vote now!

If you're in the UK you have just two days to register ahead of the election on May 7 if you haven't already. It only takes 5 minutes:


Monday, October 27, 2014

One last push...

Apparently, it's Monday again. These things seem to come round with astonishing regularity, unlike my blog entries, but I'll keep trying.


This week, I'm on the train to London, which I have to say, makes a very pleasant change from Liverpool. Don't get me wrong, Liverpool is fine, with all its localness, and footballness, and "there's nothing for your round here"-ness, which is far rarer than I am making out (for comic effect, and to wind up my sister). Seriously doh, (coz dey do dat down der doh don't dey doh) its a really nice place nowadays. A vibrant city with lots to see and do, and plenty of character, history and dare I say it, even some culture. I've enjoyed it, even though it's been excruciating painful to do, it is finally starting to come to a close. Hence my trip to London. The final week of the heavy lifting part of the process, requires certain senior individuals to be within earshot, so the mountain is coming to Mohammad.


The aching bones and inability to walk, finally subsided by about Wednesday last week. That will teach me to rush that floor tiling job, but it is done and the results are pleasing. However, there is no rest for the wicked, and so first thing Monday I was straight back up to that Liverpool for more of the same. However, I'd very sensibly booked Friday off in advance of a visit from the Scottish contingent. I rushed home Thursday night, and even managed a couple of jars with the WTC to round off my working week, which was a blessing. The sanity/insanity that comes with time in their company is often an oasis in the desert of my working week, and one I'm very glad has water and palm trees.


I am starting to get more than a little hacked off with the travel-for-work thing. Having worked from home for so long, you get a routine, and right now I'd like that routine back. I should of course be careful what I wish for, because these things have a way of biting you, and I'm acutely aware of a forthcoming holiday anyway, which Mrs G and I have well and truly earned.

Friday, my favourite brother-in-law arrived, with Mrs Gs sister and their offspring. It's always a pleasure to see them, and it's becoming a regular trick to spend his birthday doing something semi-active in the day and then semi-alcoholic (with a curry) in the evening. This year was no different in that respect, and we spent the day wandering around Gloucester and taking in the delight that is the "Crucible 2" art exhibition currently showing at Gloucester Cathedral. This consists of around a hundred works of art - sculptures in fact - dotted around the cathedral and its grounds. Some pretty amazing things and in, what is, a very grand and beautiful setting. A pot of traditional tea and some coffee's in "Lily's tea shop" afterwards, to shelter from the rain and a thoroughly good time was had. I'd recommend it although you'll have to be quick as its gone at the end of October.


We did the curry thing and all the local gang were there. Daughter and Tall fella came along, and Dave, Tall fella and I picked up the curry whilst having the now traditional "cheeky pint" in the pub next to the curry house. All good stuff.


On Saturday, Mrs G and I took a cycle into town and did some very minor shopping, although she did get a bargain, and then I had to prep and pack for a night in Wiltshire. Many many years ago, I served an apprenticeship in an engineering firm in Chippenham. As a result I wound up working in IT, as the IT manager for what became a very successful little company manufacturing high powered semiconductors. I reported to the Finance director, an ex policeman and an all round truly smashing bloke. In the 7 years I was there, I learned everything I needed to set me up in a long career in what we now refer to as IT, but which was ostensibly - looking after the computers, back then. It was a great time, with ups and downs and he guided me into an interesting and most helpful role at head office, and onwards into greatness... Etc etc etc.... Anyway, as I say, this was many many years ago, and the time has come for his retirement - which frankly scares the bejesus out of me. He'd organised a get together of a few of the people he'd enjoyed working worth, and I feel most privileged to be included in that set. Fine wine, fine company, fine food, reminiscing and forward planning were the highlights of the evening, and while (as the song goes) everything changes, everything also stays the same. I hadn't really planned on staying overnight, but there you go. In the end I'm glad I did. It was great to catch up and remember what were some of my my formative years, and I thank him for it greatly.


You can imagine, that I had a slightly woozy start to Sunday morning, but nothing that some bacon and eggs couldn't put right. His wife did the hangers-on proud, and I finally got home around midday. I got a few little jobs done and the packing started ready for the forthcoming week, and then late afternoon, Mrs G started on the Sunday lunch, which was a special one on this occasion. Not least because it was to mark the Tall ones birthday. (I know, it's a non-stop party in our house). A gorgeous piece of roast lamb with all the trimmings and plenty of banter, although to be fair I was at this point totally shattered, made for an enjoyable time, but before I knew it, it was time to finish my packing and get some sleep before the early taxi/train combo to London.....


So here I sit. Once more into the breach dear friends, once more....

Monday, October 20, 2014

Holidays are coming...

After that last entry, I'm struggling to stay awake, but it goes like that. Total and utter boredom of monotony, followed by fast paced, high energy excitement, followed by back round to the slow pace of plodding ever onwards. So by that token, this entry should be a rip roarer. Sorry, but not a bit of it.

The earliest train there is up to Liverpool is at ten past seven from my nearest station, Gloucester. In my book that's early, but can be considered a lie-in by London standards. However, now that the summer is over, it's mostly dark, and so mostly feels like the middle of the night anyway.

Last week I was at home. On the work front, we're under great pressure to be seen to be out performing the rest of Europe (which of course we are) and that means proving we can do the jobs we've been doing for x number of years (I say X, because it's a bit like revealing one's age, and in my case, it's well into double figures.) This proof, comes in the form of a pile of paperwork that has to be approved by a bunch of managerial types just to say you're not making it up. To be honest, I've been doing this for so long, that half of said managerial types weren't even employed here, so how would they even know?... Regardless, I stayed away from the client site for the week to get the job done and it proved to be a fascinating gaze into my navel replete with successes and failures and all the odd bits and bobs that you'd rather you'd forgotten about, or could barely remember doing in the first place. That's the trouble with this job. No sooner have you finished one deal, than you're off to the next one and what you were just doing is instantly forgotten. It is, bizarre.

In other news.... Daughter bought a new car, and so son bought a new (to him) car while Mrs G and I remain resplendently carless. We seemed to have managed remarkably well so far, although I fear the day is coming when I'll crack and buy either a banger, or something brand new, or hop back into the company car scheme.. Who knows? In reality, if you don't need a car, then why have a car? ...and other people will say "surely you need to go places?" as if you can't travel without a car... Or "How will you ever cope?" but I can tell you, you just do. Living on the edge of a city makes it a lot easier. If we lived out in the countryshire proper, then it would be a different story. I'm pretty sure a car would be an essential, but we have reasonably good transport links, and most things are a short walk away or practically on our doorstep. On that basis, I think I'll keep the insurance and road tax in my pocket for the time being.

Stan and I bumped into our local MP in the pub, and he claimed to know us. This was something I found particularly odd as I'd never met him before in my life. MPs have a thankless job, and I often wonder if it's actually just a pointless job. They don't do themselves any favours more often than not. All too regularly are they caught with their hand in the till (well, the public purse to be more precise) or up to no good with the likes of the baby eating bishop of bath and wells. No wonder nobody ever trusts them. They consistently let themselves down - not forgetting that you can't please all the people all of the time - so they really are onto a looser... I considered getting into a debate with him on the subject of the railway triangle, or the general state of the post office, or some such similar subject, but I thought about it for 30 seconds, and then decided I'd rather have another pint in a different pub than dance around the hooray-henry's... I'm really referring to the company he was keeping than the man himself. Stan and I sought refuge in a proper boozer instead.

Mrs G and I took in a night at the cinema (Gone Girl - 8/10 - gripping, but didn't quite finish in the manner it needs to, although camera work, scene setting and acting, as is always the case with David Fincher works, was more than excellent). We also had a bite to eat in the Coal Bar and Grill, which while being a chain, is a very nice chain at least. I do love a relaxing night out with the boss, and while she generally hates the cinema, even she was gripped by the plot.. Good times.

Claude had a 50th birthday party which was an entertaining Friday night.. All the local gang were there. More good times and ridiculous dancing.

I finally managed to retile the floor of mother-in-laws utility room. That has been on the cards for about two months, but the time has just not been available. Yesterday I set at it with a pace, and had it pretty much finished by 5pm. Bearing in mind it's only about 2 square meters of floor (if that) but it did have the mother of all fiddly bits, down in a corner that you could barely reach. I know I did it because this morning I still can't feel my knees. Finished job looks much better though.

...and with that, the sun is coming up, I have a very challenging next two weeks approaching at some serious rate of knots and then... holidays are coming... and so is Birmingham New Street.

All change....


Monday, October 06, 2014

Hum Drum

Being fed up with getting up at the crack of dawn to ride the train North and only arrive at 11am, I figured this week, I'd mix it up a little and travel up the night before.

The advantages are twofold. A) Extra points for an additional night in a hotel (and we all know that outs make prizes) and B) I'm going to be in the office on time tomorrow morning. However. I haven't even completed the journey, and I know now that this was just a stupid idea.  The disadvantages have become clear. A) One less night in the bosom of my family (obviously) B) The unpredictability of trains later in the day C) Sharing said trains with people that clearly aren't used to having to deal with changes to the planned journey times when the wrong leaves are on the line.  D) Did I mention the unpredictability, thus leading to delays?....

Winter has arrived and with it traffic chaos.  You'd think the northern half of the country had never seen rain before judging by the way the place has gone to hell in a handcart as a result of a hefty downpour - as is the nature of winter.  Cutting to the chase, I sat for 45 minutes in Birmingham New Street waiting for a driver to show up from his delayed service elsewhere in the country. I'm not really moaning though. I suppose it could haVe been worse.

And so to an update on events. The deal progresses much like wading through molasses progresses. The new blood is having a poke and a prod, and it's entirely possible that now some of the larger crops are harvested that we'll get plenty of "assistance" in pushing the wheelbarrow, shaking the tree and loading up the apple cart. It's equally possible that said apple cart will get upset before we get a chance to fill it this season, and it may have to wait until next season. Who knows?  Smaller Bigger brains than mine, no doubt.

I may have mentioned previously but somehow in between this constant flux a few of us alleged lesser beings have been tasked with documenting the fact that we're not lesser beings. For someone who's been doing this job for 12 years or more, this incarnation of it for 4 years and this particular effort for the last 5 months....  I really can't see the point. Somebody must have made a promise. Not only that, but it's a proper pain in the Harris to do, with reams of documentation required. Needless to,say I find it the most uninspiring task and as such am constantly battling with relegating it to the bottom of the queue vs being reminded that it has to be done (because someone promised it - not me by the way).

I managed to get home early last week, which meant a beer with the boys on Thursday and discussion of where to stay during next years golf tour, washed down with sufficient beer, a stagger home - although a relatively early one - and quick stop in Maccy D's on the way.

When the weekend finally hoved into view, It was a blessed relief (Soooo tired this week - sleep in hotels is just not happening and I really hope I get that sorted out before we go off on our holiday - which is an oasis in the dessert of work drudgery. The resting (if you can call it that) readily began with a visit to daughters house to drop off some games that she required for her very grown up dinner party. For a moment however, it sounded like it wouldn't happen when one of the guests called her to say they'd had a bit of a row and might not be coming after all. Perhaps it's not as grown up as I imaged, but then all was laid to rest, forgotten about, they arrived and from all accounts, a good time was had. Meanwhile, Mrs G and I, had daughter number 5 to stay - long story, but as always it's a pleasure to see her, and she's very enjoyable company. With tales of her London adventures and how she's making her way in the world, time flies and fun is had. Son in the meantime was out fighting crime on the streets of Stroud. Tougher than you might think.

Saturday, Daughter 5 and Mrs G took a trip to town. (that's town, not the city as readers of old will recall) Son and I Made a swift trip to a phone shop In the city for him to get a repair quote for the insurance Man on his old Samsung S3...  "itsa nao probleem mayte" the fella with the dodgy moustache said "I can rite yous wan for a fiiver"...   I think not.  £5 to write a quote?...  You're having a giraffe.

Later in the day Daughter number 1 and I Also visited the city with a little list of things that needed sorting out. We did well, and excellent little consumers we both were.  I upgraded the freesat box to a newer and much faster model Humax.  The old one was good, but this one is much much better. The mobile apps for it also finally allow it to catch up with the Sky toolset and so pleased, I am. Daughter is settled. She's saving hard, but things are where she wants them to be, so I'm a happy man.

On Sunday, the lawn got mowed - possibly for the last time this year, so extra short and then daughter 5 cooked a truly fantastic bit of roast chicken with all the trimmings.  So that's at out the sum of it really...   All a bit tedious and mundane and really hardly worth the read...  But read it you did.  You shouldn't worry....  I had to write it.

Monday, September 29, 2014

You'll never guess...

I'm only on the bloody train up to Liverpool again.  It's all starting to get a little too repetitive to be fair. 

At least today, the timings are all different and there is a change in the air.  A change of lead, which will make things very interesting at least for a day or two. I hear good things, so fingers crossed. The immediate impact is that we're to have an internal planning session this afternoon, which means no reason to travel at the crack of dawn, so here I sit on the blessedly-late-in-the-day 9.50. Different bunch of fellow passengers as well. Obviously they are mostly retired and taking advantage of the off-peak rates to get wherever they are going.  If they get disruptive, I'll be sure and let you know.

The rest of last week panned out much as the previous week, with the exception of a change of hotel. Dinner in the Ship and Mitre (a burger and a pint), and a trip to a very strange placed bolted onto the side of a "5-star" hostel. Also burgers. Nothing to yell about, but mostly enjoyable.  A terrible week for sleep though. For some reason I just didn't get a good night at all, and as a result was absolutely shattered by the time I got home on Thursday night. 

I hadn't planned on having a Wednesday/Thursday club beer either, however the lads were keen to try fish and chips from the delectable "Queens" so I was persuaded, although I'm glad it wasn't a particularly late night.  

Friday came and went, I got a haircut (long overdue) and the lawn got mowed so everything got a trim.  Mrs G and I tried to watch the x-factor in the evening, which I'm finding increasingly impossible to do. We caught the return of gogglebox instead though, which really is some genius TV. Highly entertaining to watch people watching TV.  Ridiculous, but much better than you'd imagine it to be. 

Saturday meant the Smithy Open. Always good for a few giggles, a game of golf at the Gloucester country club. The weather is insanely good for this time of year, and so shorts - in Almost October?! - were the order of the day. Didn't help my game though. I think my lack of sleep in the week had basically drained me of the energy needed to get my game going and I pretty much collapsed in heap when I got home after a six mile walk and thrashing about in the brambles. In the evening we did the usual routine of a few places in Cheltenham, but again, my energy was just all gone, so I sloped off early in the vain hope of some recovery.  Great company and banter, which I just couldn't sustain thanks to too much travel. 

Sunday - the day of rest - didn't involve a great deal of rest, but wasn't over taxing. Mrs G got her "tidy" on and I wasn't much use. She is awesome, and I'm sure she doesn't realise how proud I am to call her my better half, and how I actually couldn't cope without her. Luckily we have a proper holiday coming up and I'm certain that like me, she can't wait for a decent break and some time for just us two.  I did manage to make a couple of trips to the tip, to clear some stuff we'd been hoarding, and to make space for next weeks guest (daughter number 2), who is coming to stay for a couple of nights. Also managed to get bike lights sorted, while the boy tweaked gears, and breaks and as daughter put it "He had a little party in the garden with bikes".

The two of them went off for lunch with their sisters. In the evening Mrs G and I treated ourselves to Steak and Chips - something we haven't had for a while.  Interestingly we tried some steak from Lidl...  Now here's a thing... supermarket snobbery.....

Obviously, I should be buying steak from Waitrose, because after all, it's a) posh and b) fantastic tasting steak.  Well it turns out that that is a stupid way to look at the world.  These British steaks from Lidl were both a) a bargain (A fiver) and b) fantastic tasting. You would easily pay 3 or 4 times the price for the same at Waitrose.  Clearly Lidl is the up and coming supermarket with bargains galore. Daughter performed a whole weeks worth of shopping for 25quid, and genuinely NOT rubbish either. I shouldn't be surprised, after all on the continent Lidl and Aldi are the norm in terms of supermarket shopping. It's only us Brits who are stupid enough to think that there are major differences between Sainsburys, Tescos, Asda, Morrisons and Waitrose. The main difference is the price - don't be fooled by the surrounding BS.

Train appears to be stopping rather more often than it should, and regularly not at stations either. I predict a slow and boring journey, so luckily I've downloaded the first two episodes of "Glue" from the fellas at Channel 4.  I'm going to have a crack at that, I'll yet you know what I think.  Oh and on the subject of 4OD, I see they also have "GBH" available to stream, which I will definitely be watching as I loved it back in the 90's when it first appeared. A Political comedy/drama, of the machinations of the insane. A great piece of both writing and acting, my memory tells me it is thoroughly recommended. 

Until next time...  Cheerio. 

Where is Golfyball?


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